hate again, that is my promise

running down the block 

slock

chalk

rock

talk

walk

stalk

clock

knock

glock 

:(

as hard as it is, im going to try to refrain from apostrophe.

as someone who only knew ashton through talking to her once and seeing her every single day as i walked out of class, i can not say that i was her friend.  and i regret that.  i can say, however, that she has affected me in every possible way.  what i have learned about ashton from responding to a latent friend request, scrolling through her facebook, reading her formspring, attending monday’s vigil, and reading her memorial pages is that she was an innocent, kind, loving soul— she was basically anyone could ever ask for in a young high school girl.  

but how did she affect me, this great person that was unfortunately not my friend?  she took away my naïveté and utter oblivion of what death was.  my friends and i used to playfully discuss “do you think someone will die during our time at northwood? what will it be like?” etc.  death isn’t some kind of run-of-the-muck occurrence nor some statistic, as geoffrey gao and i discussed, it’s a harsh, bleak, unforgiving reality.  the sheer idea that i will not ever see her again on this planet was enough to make me cry.  i can only imagine what her friends and family are being put through.  i can say this though:  i will miss her, i will always think about her, and i will fight so people like austin farley never take the lives of sweet girls like her ever again.  

more than anything ashton has shown me the importance of every decision, of every conversation, and, more than anything, the importance of every life. 

i love ashton sweet.  i know she’s already in a better place— this is not a question— but as for this plane, i will make sure she always live on.  i am writing this so as to keep this promise until i, too, pass.

punssz

in the corrupted, illusional “flow”, we sometimes get carried away in forgetfulness due to high expectations.  it’s not as good as it could be.  by any means.  but, to be fair,  it’s not that bad either.  it’s a certain  series of coincidences— event after event —that continuously alters this perception but doesn’t come back to any “normal state”.  it is all a fluctuation and it will always be a fluctuation. no matter how much money you have stored up, no matter how set your love life is, no matter what you think your friends and family will accomplish, it will always be a fluctuation.  when times are good you want better times and when they are bad you want better times.  you’ll never get them.  take away every reliance, every dependence, every investment — emotional or capital — and their very absence will be a new cause of sorrow.  plan ahead, be organized, set rules for yourself.  no one will break those rules other than you.  who’d know that you’d be the main offender? live in the now, take it day by day, minute by minute, second by second.  but why does your life seem to be taken toward nowhere? try to be balanced and you feel too conservative, lacking in boldness.  

nothing will ever be good.  nothing will ever be anything.

bricly <3

it all started way back in 93

nah, you dont believe me

so strong but so weak

so hot but so meek

inheritance of a rather humble physique

my name is keyian

and i like to paint it neon

all ova the walls of town

brown, just like everything in the city

its irvine baby, and its pretty shitty

but give us a party and we’re all giddy

speakin of which

i dont really mean to bitch

but where did these pigs come from?

AND WHO THE FUCK SNITCHED!?!?

my favorite pastimes are dodgin cops

coppin feels, and feelin tops

you know, im a mix of barley n hops

they say if the weather drops, 

its probably cus im blockin the sun

with my fatass guns

so yall that dont know me

now you do

and you faggots that hate me

eat some of my poo

because im the boss you fear most,

im the cause of death of the host

tan skin brown eyes black hair

to all: BEWARE

i think im often misunderstood